"no" is too serious
"nope" is too casual
"nah" is just right
"Did you kill this man?"
how do you get a boyfriend when you don’t leave your room
so if an unknown hot guy crawls up your window at night you don’t call the police?Of course not. You smash him with a frying pan and tie him to a chair. Did Tangled teach you nothing?
a guy walks into a bar
he’s an alcoholic and his wife leaves him
[licks popsicle seductively] yeah big boy this isn’t the only thing i can suck [winks] [lowers voice] i also suck at life
I wonder if the young girls playing on the trampoline next door know that
- I can see them
- I can hear them singing You Can’t Stop The Beat from Hairspray
- they are really bad singers and
- I can probably get a YouTube-worthy video of them from my current position
gUYS I PUT ON MY COUSINS HOCKEY MASK AND STOOD AT THE WINDOW AND YELLED “STOP YOUR INFERNAL SINGSONG I’M TRYING TO MURDER HERE” AND THEY SCREAMED AND TRIED TO RUN AWAY AND ONE FELL OVER AND STARTED CRYING